Imagine Duke Nukem 3D's very worst keycard hunts on a massive scale and you're halfway there. While this sounds interesting on paper, the result is one of the most confusing and directionless shooters of its era, with each map being a sprawling mess of buildings filled with oft-identical FMV-sampled goons, turrets, androids and holograms, with little sense of where you should be going. You're tasked with assassinating seven high-tech drug lords, each one holed up in a hideout somewhere in a massive city, its multiple districts connected by a subway system. Breaking from FPS tradition, it was highly non-linear.

In all fairness, Tekwar was not a game without ambition. A pleasant(?) side-effect of Blood's revival on modern machines thanks to the efforts of Russian modder and coder Alexander 'M210' Makarov. It stands to reason, naturally, that there's a mostly-complete engine port, allowing the game to be enjoyed at modern widescreen resolutions on whatever cutting-edge machine you use for your modern-day manshoots. It combined stilted FMV Shatner monologues, incoherent level design and more bugs than you can shake a cyber-stick at. William Shatner's Tekwar, released way back in 1995, was exactly the sort of game you'd expect to see from a meeting of minds as brilliant as Ol' Bill Shatner (baffler of evil computers, aspiring writer of words) and Capstone Software, the studio behind such classics as Surf Ninjas and Terminator 2: Chess Wars.